Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Money Money Money...

According to an article, the number one thing that couples fight about is Money... turns out the song "it's all about the money, money, money" really is what it is all about.  The article states that couples argue on average about three times a month on finances.

I don't dispute the findings, I do think that most couples fight about money.  The sad thing is that it really doesn't have to be that way!  The article indicates that most of the arguments are over unexpected expenses and insufficient savings.  And disputes like this that occur once a week or more put the couple at an increased risk of divorce.  The number one thing to help alleviate the problem is talking about money with your spouse.  If you avoid it, you either make the issue worse or you create the issue to begin with.  The article says that over 50 percent of couples don't set aside time to talk about financial issues and "three in 10 adults admitted to lying about finances."

Now I would never tell someone what they should or shouldn't do, but T.J. and I have never had any money issues.  We took a class before we got married on finances (in case you are wondering it was a Dave Ramsey course) and while we don't follow the course to a "T", I do recommend taking a financial course with your soon-to-be spouse because it starts the discussion before you tie the knot.  If you are already married, I would still recommend taking a financial course or reading a financial book, specifically ones with a Christian perspective because they will be more honest.

After taking a course or reading a book or two, talk about your money.  Discuss what is coming in every month and what is going out.  I recommend a budget, but T.J. and I don't use a hard set budget - we know how much we have to pay for specific expenses and how much we are going to put into savings and we let the rest fall where it may.  I don't recommend this for everyone and once we have children we will probably follow a more strict budget, but right now we aren't hurting without it.

Once you set a budget or at least talk through your expenses make sure that you both are on the same page about it and that you are paying back your debt, covering your current expenses, and saving for the future in both a regular savings and an emergency fund - that way you can avoid the stress and fights over the unexpected expenses and you have a well stocked savings.

Also, I highly recommend that you and your spouse have a joint savings, joint checking, and joint emergency fund.  I do not think that it is conducive to your health as a couple to have separate finances.  If you have your money over here and your spouse has his money over there, then you are keeping secret from your spouse something that in todays world we can't live without.  I understand that some people have their reasons for it, but I don't think it is a healthy habit and I believe that it would make financial conversations more difficult.

My belief is when you get married there is no mine and yours anymore, it is ours, and if you treat everything that way, from your cars, to your computers, to your money, then you will have a happier marriage because you won't be competing with your love!

If you haven't talked about finances with your spouse or if you have but it has been a while, take the time today or this week and make it a priority.  See where your spending habits could be changed and see where you are doing good!  Most importantly be on the same page about finances and make sure that whatever you decide about your money that BOTH OF YOU are happy and agree with your plan - that both of your voices were heard and you both feel satisfied with it!  Happy Budgeting!

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