Well after a very long hiatus... I am back at it. I have missed writing so much and honestly I am not even sure initially how I stopped, but then I was pregnant... then had a baby and have been snuggling the lil' guy up for 5 months now (today is his 5 month birthday!).
Any who, I truly have missed writing and have so many things on my heart that I wish to share. I pray that this blog becomes exactly what God wants it to be and that I may convey truth and charity always. Please check back here often as I am hoping to write frequently (sometimes it may be late at night after I have put the little one down or it may be in the afternoons when he takes a nap... only time will tell).
- Kalen
Monday, June 15, 2015
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Marriage Prep
I don't know how strict different dioceses and parishes are regarding Marriage Preparation, but honestly it is and should be a big deal. The parish and diocese that we got married in requires you and your fiancé to first meet with the priest that is going to be the Celebrant at your wedding. While at this meeting you talk with the priest about marriage, life, etc. Then you take the FOCCUS Inventory (separately - that is how they work). You also turn in your Baptism certificates and your freedom to marry forms (indicating that you haven't been previously married, if you have that it was annulled, and that you are of age). After that you attend a Marriage Prep class or weekend. Our parish had a Marriage Builder Weekend that we attended. You also take a Natural Family Planning (NFP) Course - I couldn't say enough about how great NFP is!! And you also meet with a couple from the parish to discuss your future marriage and you also go over the FOCCUS inventory with them - I think this aspect to the process is HUGE! Lastly, you plan all the details with the coordinator at the Church and make sure everything is set to go for the Wedding Mass!
Looking back on this experience, we are so grateful for the entire Marriage Prep process. While my hubby and I learned a lot of things pertaining to our future marriage before we entered the marriage prep process, as I am a nerd for books so we went through quite a few marriage prep books on our own, we also took a college course together on Christian Marriage, and I studied the topic very in-depth. But we went through the process because we had to, but also because we wanted to. Even though we knew that for us, most of it would be review, taking the time - even if it is just to review - is worth it to make sure that you are making the right decision and that all the cards are laid out on the table.
I feel bad for people who either never had marriage prep or who skipped out (marriage prep used to not be as big of a deal/requirement) or who just went though the motions but never really invested in it. Sure it is a big time commitment to accomplish all of the marriage prep, but if you aren't willing to give the time to your soon-to-be spouse, what makes you think you'll give them the time when you are married. What makes you think that you know everything about them?
I dated the man that I married for 5 1/2 years before I married him. In all of that time, unless we specifically brought up topics, we never would have talked about our family history and how that impacted our lives and what we would change for our own family. We never would have talked about how we wanted our family holidays to be. We probably wouldn't have made a financial goal together and truly discussed our finances - would we have a joint bank account? Et Cetera, Et Cetera!
There are hundreds of things that you should talk about before you get married, but oftentimes things get pushed to the side. While it may be impossible to talk about everything before you marry - at least cover the most important topics, which you can find through a marriage prep program or in a marriage prep book (if unfortunately your Church doesn't offer a program). Some of the most important topics are; Money, Faith, Children, Sex, Politics, Family of Origin, In-Laws and Goals/Careers. Talking about these things makes sure that when it comes to the BIG BUTTON issues that you have a game plan, an agreement, a mutual way of dealing with or handling the topic without one person feeling slighted or like their voice isn't being heard. If you are super different on a lot of these things and can't come to a mutual anything than you shouldn't be getting married. If you are already married and discovered this, seek counseling so that these things don't hinder or ruin the good in your relationship.
If you didn't have the chance to go through marriage prep, or you didn't get to talk about everything, or if something now in your marriage is bothering you -- take the time and talk about it. Go back through your marriage prep stuff, if you did marriage prep, and review it, improve it, update it, fill it in, talk about it, etc. Even if your marriage is smooth sailing - talk about these things. Continue to make sure that everything is out in the open and that both of your voices are being heard. COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS KEY AND COMMUNICATION IS A TWO WAY STREET!
Make your marriage what you want it to be and the sooner you do it, the better for both of you! If you have the opportunity in your area, go on a Marriage Encounter Weekend/Marriage Enrichment Weekend with your spouse to make sure you are talking about things that could become a problem if you aren't aware of them and to reignite the flame if you need!
I encourage you, if you aren't married, take marriage prep SERIOUSLY. If you are married and whether you went through marriage prep or not - take the time to make sure that you both feel good and are on the same page about topics today. For example, go over your budget today and make sure you are both still happy with it or discern whether God is calling you to have another child together. You can also just keep the communication flowing by looking up 100 Questions or Conversation Starters and talking about one of them over dinner or before you go to bed. I pray that you always take the time and invest like you did when you were dating/courting and when you were in marriage prep!
Looking back on this experience, we are so grateful for the entire Marriage Prep process. While my hubby and I learned a lot of things pertaining to our future marriage before we entered the marriage prep process, as I am a nerd for books so we went through quite a few marriage prep books on our own, we also took a college course together on Christian Marriage, and I studied the topic very in-depth. But we went through the process because we had to, but also because we wanted to. Even though we knew that for us, most of it would be review, taking the time - even if it is just to review - is worth it to make sure that you are making the right decision and that all the cards are laid out on the table.
I feel bad for people who either never had marriage prep or who skipped out (marriage prep used to not be as big of a deal/requirement) or who just went though the motions but never really invested in it. Sure it is a big time commitment to accomplish all of the marriage prep, but if you aren't willing to give the time to your soon-to-be spouse, what makes you think you'll give them the time when you are married. What makes you think that you know everything about them?
I dated the man that I married for 5 1/2 years before I married him. In all of that time, unless we specifically brought up topics, we never would have talked about our family history and how that impacted our lives and what we would change for our own family. We never would have talked about how we wanted our family holidays to be. We probably wouldn't have made a financial goal together and truly discussed our finances - would we have a joint bank account? Et Cetera, Et Cetera!
There are hundreds of things that you should talk about before you get married, but oftentimes things get pushed to the side. While it may be impossible to talk about everything before you marry - at least cover the most important topics, which you can find through a marriage prep program or in a marriage prep book (if unfortunately your Church doesn't offer a program). Some of the most important topics are; Money, Faith, Children, Sex, Politics, Family of Origin, In-Laws and Goals/Careers. Talking about these things makes sure that when it comes to the BIG BUTTON issues that you have a game plan, an agreement, a mutual way of dealing with or handling the topic without one person feeling slighted or like their voice isn't being heard. If you are super different on a lot of these things and can't come to a mutual anything than you shouldn't be getting married. If you are already married and discovered this, seek counseling so that these things don't hinder or ruin the good in your relationship.
If you didn't have the chance to go through marriage prep, or you didn't get to talk about everything, or if something now in your marriage is bothering you -- take the time and talk about it. Go back through your marriage prep stuff, if you did marriage prep, and review it, improve it, update it, fill it in, talk about it, etc. Even if your marriage is smooth sailing - talk about these things. Continue to make sure that everything is out in the open and that both of your voices are being heard. COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS KEY AND COMMUNICATION IS A TWO WAY STREET!
Make your marriage what you want it to be and the sooner you do it, the better for both of you! If you have the opportunity in your area, go on a Marriage Encounter Weekend/Marriage Enrichment Weekend with your spouse to make sure you are talking about things that could become a problem if you aren't aware of them and to reignite the flame if you need!
I encourage you, if you aren't married, take marriage prep SERIOUSLY. If you are married and whether you went through marriage prep or not - take the time to make sure that you both feel good and are on the same page about topics today. For example, go over your budget today and make sure you are both still happy with it or discern whether God is calling you to have another child together. You can also just keep the communication flowing by looking up 100 Questions or Conversation Starters and talking about one of them over dinner or before you go to bed. I pray that you always take the time and invest like you did when you were dating/courting and when you were in marriage prep!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
I waited... and it was Worth IT!
I came across an article today titled "I Waited Until My Wedding Night To Lose My Virginity And I Wish I Hadn't". Immediately I knew I had to read this article because I longed to understand and see what this desperate soul was talking about. If you would like to read the entire article it can be found here. If you don't want to read it, that is fine too as I will reference what she said in this post.
She begins by describing that she was taught to remain pure until she was married and that she made the decision to do so at church alongside many other girls. Her story doesn't sound too different from mine. I made the choice when I was maybe 12 or 13 to remain sexually abstinent until I was married. My reasons did include following Catholic Church teaching (she was in a Baptist church - in case you were wondering so she followed their church teachings) as the main reason, but there were other factors that included; not wanting to disappoint my family, wanting to do it right - having children in the context of a marriage, etc.
Her reasons include her church's teachings, but I struggle to say that they were entirely accurate. Her church taught that "sex was for married people" - check I agree with that completely. But here is where it gets a little interesting for me; "extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it." While having sex outside of marriage is sinful, maybe it is because I am Catholic, but I know that if you were contrite of heart and went to confession and didn't do it again, you would be forgiven and not condemned to Hell. I feel like this is a horrible scare tactic to convince a young 10 year old girl to remain a virgin. There are lots of reasons to remain a virgin before you marry the one person that you promise to share your mind, heart, body, and soul with and scaring someone to believe that they will go to Hell is just not one of the motivators you need to have.
Additionally, her church taught that "it was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn't remain pure for me, because he didn't have the same responsibility, according to the Bible..." - and this is where I draw the line. While it is entirely true that your future spouse may not have saved himself just for you and that you could forgive them because Christ can forgive them... NOWHERE and I MEAN NOWHERE does scripture excuse them from being pure and remaining pure until they give themselves to you. Christ calls us to the same standards - both MALE AND FEMALE!
The Catholic Church teaches that sex is sacred. It is an act for only two people that are married. CCC 2360 states, "Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament." This and the fact that if you have sex outside of marriage, by the very act of sexual intercourse you lie with your body and tell the other person 'I love you with the type of love only someone in a married relationship can love you like' is just that, a lie. (I am so passionate about this that I feel I am going to write an entire blog on it - so I will leave it at this). There are some wonderful resources on our bodies and waiting for marriage and how to have a good faith filled courtship. Check out Theology of the Body by Pope Saint John Paul II, which you can read here. Also, check out the Catechism of the Catholic Church on Marriage. And you can also get amazing books like Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World.
She goes on to talk about how she would wear her "virginity like a badge of honor". How sad that our society, our churches have even gotten to the point of having to praise the virgin. We should all be virgins until we give ourselves to our only spouse! Being a virgin shouldn't be your identity, it shouldn't be what defines you (it may define some of your choices and your character, but it should never be your one and only label). Being a virgin is huge and finding someone who you date/court who supports you and may even God-willing, share purity with you is amazing. Long story short, her wedding night wasn't what she thought it would be. She cried and felt that she was sinful and dirty. She felt like others judged her and she was ashamed to "be" in front of her spouse. She obliged herself for her husbands sake until she finally told him how horrible it made her feel. She went to counseling and no longer goes to church or is religious so that she can choose sex. She is convinced that "the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality" and if she could go back she wouldn't wait until marriage.
So here is the thing, I waited until I got married to have sex. And my wedding night was the greatest night of my entire life. After dating the most incredible man for almost 6 years, I finally had the greatest privilege of sharing my innermost being with him. I was so incredibly fortunate to be blessed by God with a man who shared my passion and desires in life and like me had made a promise to wait until he was married. I am not saying that our first night was amazing like the movies. It was amazing to us because we got to share the most intimate thing that we possess in the context of a Sacrament - a perpetual vow, a promise for a lifetime. I won't lie to you, it hurt, but the fact that I got to share that moment and be consoled in that moment by the person who promised to love me for my whole life is something so beautiful to me. How sad it is that someone would have that experience with some random person who isn't invested in them for life. I loved that moment because my spouse was able to show me the most tender love I have ever known.
Never once did I feel dirty, ashamed, etc... while the first nights weren't the greatest in the world, like all good things in Marriage we got better as we practiced! ;) The thing is, when you wait and then give yourself freely (without condoms, Birth Control, or other barriers) you get to experience the greatest gift that God gave to us - the ability to love as much as is humanly possible. No other person can you love like you love your spouse. When you share the intimate bond that sex is, you are sharing in God's love as fully as you can here on earth.
The day after we were married I didn't think, "I can't see my parents because they know I've done it now" or "I can't go to Church where everyone I know is because they may think of me differently" or whatever else someone might think. We are married PEOPLE and like all good married people we do what married people do. If someone had a problem with that or looked at you weird, they are the one with the problem, because sharing the marital embrace is the greatest thing you can do as Husband and Wife - and if you aren't doing it - that is the serious problem!
IF I COULD GO BACK AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN --- I WOULD STILL CHOOSE TO BE A VIRIGN UNTIL I WAS MARRIED because it is the greatest gift in the world to know that I gave my heart to one person and one person alone and that I have loved as Christ called me to love!
I encourage you today - think back to your marital vows, remember what they mean - and love your spouse with a love that only you can give them.
She begins by describing that she was taught to remain pure until she was married and that she made the decision to do so at church alongside many other girls. Her story doesn't sound too different from mine. I made the choice when I was maybe 12 or 13 to remain sexually abstinent until I was married. My reasons did include following Catholic Church teaching (she was in a Baptist church - in case you were wondering so she followed their church teachings) as the main reason, but there were other factors that included; not wanting to disappoint my family, wanting to do it right - having children in the context of a marriage, etc.
Her reasons include her church's teachings, but I struggle to say that they were entirely accurate. Her church taught that "sex was for married people" - check I agree with that completely. But here is where it gets a little interesting for me; "extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it." While having sex outside of marriage is sinful, maybe it is because I am Catholic, but I know that if you were contrite of heart and went to confession and didn't do it again, you would be forgiven and not condemned to Hell. I feel like this is a horrible scare tactic to convince a young 10 year old girl to remain a virgin. There are lots of reasons to remain a virgin before you marry the one person that you promise to share your mind, heart, body, and soul with and scaring someone to believe that they will go to Hell is just not one of the motivators you need to have.
Additionally, her church taught that "it was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn't remain pure for me, because he didn't have the same responsibility, according to the Bible..." - and this is where I draw the line. While it is entirely true that your future spouse may not have saved himself just for you and that you could forgive them because Christ can forgive them... NOWHERE and I MEAN NOWHERE does scripture excuse them from being pure and remaining pure until they give themselves to you. Christ calls us to the same standards - both MALE AND FEMALE!
The Catholic Church teaches that sex is sacred. It is an act for only two people that are married. CCC 2360 states, "Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament." This and the fact that if you have sex outside of marriage, by the very act of sexual intercourse you lie with your body and tell the other person 'I love you with the type of love only someone in a married relationship can love you like' is just that, a lie. (I am so passionate about this that I feel I am going to write an entire blog on it - so I will leave it at this). There are some wonderful resources on our bodies and waiting for marriage and how to have a good faith filled courtship. Check out Theology of the Body by Pope Saint John Paul II, which you can read here. Also, check out the Catechism of the Catholic Church on Marriage. And you can also get amazing books like Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World.
She goes on to talk about how she would wear her "virginity like a badge of honor". How sad that our society, our churches have even gotten to the point of having to praise the virgin. We should all be virgins until we give ourselves to our only spouse! Being a virgin shouldn't be your identity, it shouldn't be what defines you (it may define some of your choices and your character, but it should never be your one and only label). Being a virgin is huge and finding someone who you date/court who supports you and may even God-willing, share purity with you is amazing. Long story short, her wedding night wasn't what she thought it would be. She cried and felt that she was sinful and dirty. She felt like others judged her and she was ashamed to "be" in front of her spouse. She obliged herself for her husbands sake until she finally told him how horrible it made her feel. She went to counseling and no longer goes to church or is religious so that she can choose sex. She is convinced that "the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality" and if she could go back she wouldn't wait until marriage.
So here is the thing, I waited until I got married to have sex. And my wedding night was the greatest night of my entire life. After dating the most incredible man for almost 6 years, I finally had the greatest privilege of sharing my innermost being with him. I was so incredibly fortunate to be blessed by God with a man who shared my passion and desires in life and like me had made a promise to wait until he was married. I am not saying that our first night was amazing like the movies. It was amazing to us because we got to share the most intimate thing that we possess in the context of a Sacrament - a perpetual vow, a promise for a lifetime. I won't lie to you, it hurt, but the fact that I got to share that moment and be consoled in that moment by the person who promised to love me for my whole life is something so beautiful to me. How sad it is that someone would have that experience with some random person who isn't invested in them for life. I loved that moment because my spouse was able to show me the most tender love I have ever known.
Never once did I feel dirty, ashamed, etc... while the first nights weren't the greatest in the world, like all good things in Marriage we got better as we practiced! ;) The thing is, when you wait and then give yourself freely (without condoms, Birth Control, or other barriers) you get to experience the greatest gift that God gave to us - the ability to love as much as is humanly possible. No other person can you love like you love your spouse. When you share the intimate bond that sex is, you are sharing in God's love as fully as you can here on earth.
The day after we were married I didn't think, "I can't see my parents because they know I've done it now" or "I can't go to Church where everyone I know is because they may think of me differently" or whatever else someone might think. We are married PEOPLE and like all good married people we do what married people do. If someone had a problem with that or looked at you weird, they are the one with the problem, because sharing the marital embrace is the greatest thing you can do as Husband and Wife - and if you aren't doing it - that is the serious problem!
IF I COULD GO BACK AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN --- I WOULD STILL CHOOSE TO BE A VIRIGN UNTIL I WAS MARRIED because it is the greatest gift in the world to know that I gave my heart to one person and one person alone and that I have loved as Christ called me to love!
I encourage you today - think back to your marital vows, remember what they mean - and love your spouse with a love that only you can give them.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Money Money Money...
According to an article, the number one thing that couples fight about is Money... turns out the song "it's all about the money, money, money" really is what it is all about. The article states that couples argue on average about three times a month on finances.
I don't dispute the findings, I do think that most couples fight about money. The sad thing is that it really doesn't have to be that way! The article indicates that most of the arguments are over unexpected expenses and insufficient savings. And disputes like this that occur once a week or more put the couple at an increased risk of divorce. The number one thing to help alleviate the problem is talking about money with your spouse. If you avoid it, you either make the issue worse or you create the issue to begin with. The article says that over 50 percent of couples don't set aside time to talk about financial issues and "three in 10 adults admitted to lying about finances."
Now I would never tell someone what they should or shouldn't do, but T.J. and I have never had any money issues. We took a class before we got married on finances (in case you are wondering it was a Dave Ramsey course) and while we don't follow the course to a "T", I do recommend taking a financial course with your soon-to-be spouse because it starts the discussion before you tie the knot. If you are already married, I would still recommend taking a financial course or reading a financial book, specifically ones with a Christian perspective because they will be more honest.
After taking a course or reading a book or two, talk about your money. Discuss what is coming in every month and what is going out. I recommend a budget, but T.J. and I don't use a hard set budget - we know how much we have to pay for specific expenses and how much we are going to put into savings and we let the rest fall where it may. I don't recommend this for everyone and once we have children we will probably follow a more strict budget, but right now we aren't hurting without it.
Once you set a budget or at least talk through your expenses make sure that you both are on the same page about it and that you are paying back your debt, covering your current expenses, and saving for the future in both a regular savings and an emergency fund - that way you can avoid the stress and fights over the unexpected expenses and you have a well stocked savings.
Also, I highly recommend that you and your spouse have a joint savings, joint checking, and joint emergency fund. I do not think that it is conducive to your health as a couple to have separate finances. If you have your money over here and your spouse has his money over there, then you are keeping secret from your spouse something that in todays world we can't live without. I understand that some people have their reasons for it, but I don't think it is a healthy habit and I believe that it would make financial conversations more difficult.
My belief is when you get married there is no mine and yours anymore, it is ours, and if you treat everything that way, from your cars, to your computers, to your money, then you will have a happier marriage because you won't be competing with your love!
If you haven't talked about finances with your spouse or if you have but it has been a while, take the time today or this week and make it a priority. See where your spending habits could be changed and see where you are doing good! Most importantly be on the same page about finances and make sure that whatever you decide about your money that BOTH OF YOU are happy and agree with your plan - that both of your voices were heard and you both feel satisfied with it! Happy Budgeting!
I don't dispute the findings, I do think that most couples fight about money. The sad thing is that it really doesn't have to be that way! The article indicates that most of the arguments are over unexpected expenses and insufficient savings. And disputes like this that occur once a week or more put the couple at an increased risk of divorce. The number one thing to help alleviate the problem is talking about money with your spouse. If you avoid it, you either make the issue worse or you create the issue to begin with. The article says that over 50 percent of couples don't set aside time to talk about financial issues and "three in 10 adults admitted to lying about finances."
Now I would never tell someone what they should or shouldn't do, but T.J. and I have never had any money issues. We took a class before we got married on finances (in case you are wondering it was a Dave Ramsey course) and while we don't follow the course to a "T", I do recommend taking a financial course with your soon-to-be spouse because it starts the discussion before you tie the knot. If you are already married, I would still recommend taking a financial course or reading a financial book, specifically ones with a Christian perspective because they will be more honest.
After taking a course or reading a book or two, talk about your money. Discuss what is coming in every month and what is going out. I recommend a budget, but T.J. and I don't use a hard set budget - we know how much we have to pay for specific expenses and how much we are going to put into savings and we let the rest fall where it may. I don't recommend this for everyone and once we have children we will probably follow a more strict budget, but right now we aren't hurting without it.
Once you set a budget or at least talk through your expenses make sure that you both are on the same page about it and that you are paying back your debt, covering your current expenses, and saving for the future in both a regular savings and an emergency fund - that way you can avoid the stress and fights over the unexpected expenses and you have a well stocked savings.
Also, I highly recommend that you and your spouse have a joint savings, joint checking, and joint emergency fund. I do not think that it is conducive to your health as a couple to have separate finances. If you have your money over here and your spouse has his money over there, then you are keeping secret from your spouse something that in todays world we can't live without. I understand that some people have their reasons for it, but I don't think it is a healthy habit and I believe that it would make financial conversations more difficult.
My belief is when you get married there is no mine and yours anymore, it is ours, and if you treat everything that way, from your cars, to your computers, to your money, then you will have a happier marriage because you won't be competing with your love!
If you haven't talked about finances with your spouse or if you have but it has been a while, take the time today or this week and make it a priority. See where your spending habits could be changed and see where you are doing good! Most importantly be on the same page about finances and make sure that whatever you decide about your money that BOTH OF YOU are happy and agree with your plan - that both of your voices were heard and you both feel satisfied with it! Happy Budgeting!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Take a Picture
I have tried to take a picture of every adventure that T.J. and I have gone on since we started dating, but especially since we have gotten married because it is fun to look back and see all the places that we have gone and things that we have seen. It reminds me that we have done a lot, even though we haven't traveled overseas or gone very far in the U.S., we have done a lot close to home and that is a blessing!
When you are bored or feel like you never get to do anything, which happens to me more than I would like to admit because we live in a small town, I like to look back though these pictures. I look back at the ones from the very beginning, but most especially the ones that we have taken since we got married and moved here. It is that reminder I need!
More importantly than a picture of the places you have gone or things that you have seen is a picture of you and your hubby in that moment. Even if you look gross because you went on a 10 mile hike and you are all sweaty, take the picture with you and your man in the frame. I promise, when you look back at it you wont think, "well I look disgusting", you will think, "I remember how great that day was." "I remember the sun, the beautiful animals that we saw, the smile that he gave me, the way he helped me climb up that rock..." That is what you will remember!
What is truly beautiful about taking a picture with your hubby, even if you just have a great night at home (remember to snap photos then too), is that you have a constant reminder of the love that you share with your spouse. On the days when you don't feel good or you and your spouse had a disagreement or when you are loving your spouse and want to feel the "love high", look back at these photos and remember the happy loving moments that you share!
I promise that no matter what has happened, no matter why you looked back through them, you will not regret it - it will make your day better! It will help you forgive your spouse, it will help you love your spouse more, it will encourage you to plan another adventure, it will ... Ultimately, it will be just what you needed!
Take a picture with your spouse today and remember to take them often, so when you look back at life you see nothing but happiness, even if it wasn't all smiles getting to where you are today!
When you are bored or feel like you never get to do anything, which happens to me more than I would like to admit because we live in a small town, I like to look back though these pictures. I look back at the ones from the very beginning, but most especially the ones that we have taken since we got married and moved here. It is that reminder I need!
More importantly than a picture of the places you have gone or things that you have seen is a picture of you and your hubby in that moment. Even if you look gross because you went on a 10 mile hike and you are all sweaty, take the picture with you and your man in the frame. I promise, when you look back at it you wont think, "well I look disgusting", you will think, "I remember how great that day was." "I remember the sun, the beautiful animals that we saw, the smile that he gave me, the way he helped me climb up that rock..." That is what you will remember!
What is truly beautiful about taking a picture with your hubby, even if you just have a great night at home (remember to snap photos then too), is that you have a constant reminder of the love that you share with your spouse. On the days when you don't feel good or you and your spouse had a disagreement or when you are loving your spouse and want to feel the "love high", look back at these photos and remember the happy loving moments that you share!
I promise that no matter what has happened, no matter why you looked back through them, you will not regret it - it will make your day better! It will help you forgive your spouse, it will help you love your spouse more, it will encourage you to plan another adventure, it will ... Ultimately, it will be just what you needed!
Take a picture with your spouse today and remember to take them often, so when you look back at life you see nothing but happiness, even if it wasn't all smiles getting to where you are today!
Monday, June 16, 2014
Father's Day
Yesterday was Father's Day and it was also the Solemnity of the Holy Trinity. What a beautiful day to celebrate two amazing things. The Holy Trinity is the epitome of the family and how a Father loves His Son so much that that the Holy Spirit pours forth from that love. This image is beautiful because it reminds us of the love that your earthly father should have for you. A father should love his children so much that that love should be evident to all.
I am not saying that sometimes your father may fail and I am not saying there are not imperfect fathers, some worse than others, but whether your father loved you as they ought or not, you will always have a Father who loves you in Heaven. Who gave up His Only Son for you! As the Gospel reading reminded us yesterday, "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life..." (John 3:16-18). As a father you should strive to love as our Heavenly Father loves.
Whether you are a Great-Grandfather, Grandfather, Father, whether your baby is in the womb or grown and has children of their own. Whether you have had a relationship with your child or not. Whether you were brave and gave them up for the sake of them having a better life or whether you tried to raise them, but didn't do it well. Whether you had children of your own or choose to be the father of many children through the Priesthood. No matter how you have a role as a Father, you have made a difference in the world. You brought into the world an irreplaceable gift. You raised in the world an irreplaceable person. You challenged a person to love and live in the world. You offered them faith in their Heavenly Father and gave them a desire to know and love Him more. You have done so many countless things for your children that you do not even realize.
Today I am thankful for my earthly Father who has loved me, guided me, taught me, encouraged me, toughened me up, brought me up in the faith, provided for me, and so many countless other things. Everything that my Dad has done for me I am so thankful for. I am also thankful for my Heavenly Father who ordained for all eternity that I would get to have my Dad as my Dad. My Heavenly Father who has loved me and guided me in the faith, who has put within me a flame to know and love him more. With my earthly Daddy and my Heavenly Father I have and will always feel loved!
Today I look forward to the future, when my wonderful Husband will be a father. Today I look forward to the day when my children will get to call him Daddy and my Father and Father-in-Law Grandpa. Today I look forward to the day when my children will have the opportunity to love their Heavenly Father and know without a shadow of a doubt that they will always have a Father.
Whether you did yesterday or not, take the time today to thank your Dad, your Heavenly Father, and all the Priests who have impacted your life!
I am not saying that sometimes your father may fail and I am not saying there are not imperfect fathers, some worse than others, but whether your father loved you as they ought or not, you will always have a Father who loves you in Heaven. Who gave up His Only Son for you! As the Gospel reading reminded us yesterday, "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life..." (John 3:16-18). As a father you should strive to love as our Heavenly Father loves.
Whether you are a Great-Grandfather, Grandfather, Father, whether your baby is in the womb or grown and has children of their own. Whether you have had a relationship with your child or not. Whether you were brave and gave them up for the sake of them having a better life or whether you tried to raise them, but didn't do it well. Whether you had children of your own or choose to be the father of many children through the Priesthood. No matter how you have a role as a Father, you have made a difference in the world. You brought into the world an irreplaceable gift. You raised in the world an irreplaceable person. You challenged a person to love and live in the world. You offered them faith in their Heavenly Father and gave them a desire to know and love Him more. You have done so many countless things for your children that you do not even realize.
Today I am thankful for my earthly Father who has loved me, guided me, taught me, encouraged me, toughened me up, brought me up in the faith, provided for me, and so many countless other things. Everything that my Dad has done for me I am so thankful for. I am also thankful for my Heavenly Father who ordained for all eternity that I would get to have my Dad as my Dad. My Heavenly Father who has loved me and guided me in the faith, who has put within me a flame to know and love him more. With my earthly Daddy and my Heavenly Father I have and will always feel loved!
Today I look forward to the future, when my wonderful Husband will be a father. Today I look forward to the day when my children will get to call him Daddy and my Father and Father-in-Law Grandpa. Today I look forward to the day when my children will have the opportunity to love their Heavenly Father and know without a shadow of a doubt that they will always have a Father.
Whether you did yesterday or not, take the time today to thank your Dad, your Heavenly Father, and all the Priests who have impacted your life!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Fit Together
Two weeks ago today a fitness challenge began at T.J.'s work. They are in teams and have to walk, bike, run, whatever so many minutes that equate to miles and they have a certain amount of miles that they have to reach. Each team is trying to hit that mile mark first. Long story short, I have become part of T.J.'s motivation to get in as many hours in a week as possible.
I won't lie, some days we don't feel like doing anything and it is hard to motivate ourselves to go, some days we have been busy doing other things and we don't get the time in. But, we try to make up the time if we don't get to it every night. I have noticed that on the days that T.J. and I have worked out together we have been happier with each other the rest of the day and the following days even if we don't get to work out - which is an awesome benefit!! Plus I love the fact that my "workout buddy" is my best friend!
Our main form of working out is walking. It is easy to do and we don't have to pay for a gym membership, so we like to walk. Some days we will change it up a little and try to jog (which I usually am not very good at) or we will ride our bikes. When we walk we have the opportunity to not only get our bodies into better shape, increase our heart rate a little, but it is an awesome opportunity to communicate with one another. This is definitely a chance to have intentional time together with no technology!! I have read that working out also lowers your stress level, which is an added bonus! If you would like to read more about the benefits of working out together this article describes all the top benefits I was able to find when I did a web search - Why Couples Who Sweat Together Stay Together.
Long story short, I recommend working out - and if possible, work out with your spouse. Go outside for a walk, this is the perfect time of the year because the weather is so beautiful right now, go for an evening walk with your spouse. It is a great time for you to strengthen your relationship and you will notice that once you start walking and talking you will be able to walk farther and have higher stamina while you are together.
Some things to keep in mind.
1. Try to be consistent when it comes to working out. I know that things will come up, like a dinner with your friends or your family visiting, but try your hardest to be consistent. A great way to do this is to put your workout time onto a calendar so that you workout at the same time every day or every other day.
2. Use this time as a way to support each other and to communicate with each other. Talk about encouraging things and talk positively about the progress you both are making. Also encourage each other to push a little harder, but don't make it stressful, always keep it positive!
3. Have fun. The most important part about it is that you believe in one another, support one another and make it an enjoyable experience.
Whether your job has a challenge like T.J.'s job or not, is not what is important. The important thing for any person striving to be healthy is to exercise. Do whatever method meshes best with your body, your environment, etc. Because honestly it doesn't really matter how you choose to exercise, but that you do it with your spouse. So let the love between you grow as your bodies become fit together!
I won't lie, some days we don't feel like doing anything and it is hard to motivate ourselves to go, some days we have been busy doing other things and we don't get the time in. But, we try to make up the time if we don't get to it every night. I have noticed that on the days that T.J. and I have worked out together we have been happier with each other the rest of the day and the following days even if we don't get to work out - which is an awesome benefit!! Plus I love the fact that my "workout buddy" is my best friend!
Our main form of working out is walking. It is easy to do and we don't have to pay for a gym membership, so we like to walk. Some days we will change it up a little and try to jog (which I usually am not very good at) or we will ride our bikes. When we walk we have the opportunity to not only get our bodies into better shape, increase our heart rate a little, but it is an awesome opportunity to communicate with one another. This is definitely a chance to have intentional time together with no technology!! I have read that working out also lowers your stress level, which is an added bonus! If you would like to read more about the benefits of working out together this article describes all the top benefits I was able to find when I did a web search - Why Couples Who Sweat Together Stay Together.
Long story short, I recommend working out - and if possible, work out with your spouse. Go outside for a walk, this is the perfect time of the year because the weather is so beautiful right now, go for an evening walk with your spouse. It is a great time for you to strengthen your relationship and you will notice that once you start walking and talking you will be able to walk farther and have higher stamina while you are together.
Some things to keep in mind.
1. Try to be consistent when it comes to working out. I know that things will come up, like a dinner with your friends or your family visiting, but try your hardest to be consistent. A great way to do this is to put your workout time onto a calendar so that you workout at the same time every day or every other day.
2. Use this time as a way to support each other and to communicate with each other. Talk about encouraging things and talk positively about the progress you both are making. Also encourage each other to push a little harder, but don't make it stressful, always keep it positive!
3. Have fun. The most important part about it is that you believe in one another, support one another and make it an enjoyable experience.
Whether your job has a challenge like T.J.'s job or not, is not what is important. The important thing for any person striving to be healthy is to exercise. Do whatever method meshes best with your body, your environment, etc. Because honestly it doesn't really matter how you choose to exercise, but that you do it with your spouse. So let the love between you grow as your bodies become fit together!
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