I don't know how strict different dioceses and parishes are regarding Marriage Preparation, but honestly it is and should be a big deal. The parish and diocese that we got married in requires you and your fiancé to first meet with the priest that is going to be the Celebrant at your wedding. While at this meeting you talk with the priest about marriage, life, etc. Then you take the FOCCUS Inventory (separately - that is how they work). You also turn in your Baptism certificates and your freedom to marry forms (indicating that you haven't been previously married, if you have that it was annulled, and that you are of age). After that you attend a Marriage Prep class or weekend. Our parish had a Marriage Builder Weekend that we attended. You also take a Natural Family Planning (NFP) Course - I couldn't say enough about how great NFP is!! And you also meet with a couple from the parish to discuss your future marriage and you also go over the FOCCUS inventory with them - I think this aspect to the process is HUGE! Lastly, you plan all the details with the coordinator at the Church and make sure everything is set to go for the Wedding Mass!
Looking back on this experience, we are so grateful for the entire Marriage Prep process. While my hubby and I learned a lot of things pertaining to our future marriage before we entered the marriage prep process, as I am a nerd for books so we went through quite a few marriage prep books on our own, we also took a college course together on Christian Marriage, and I studied the topic very in-depth. But we went through the process because we had to, but also because we wanted to. Even though we knew that for us, most of it would be review, taking the time - even if it is just to review - is worth it to make sure that you are making the right decision and that all the cards are laid out on the table.
I feel bad for people who either never had marriage prep or who skipped out (marriage prep used to not be as big of a deal/requirement) or who just went though the motions but never really invested in it. Sure it is a big time commitment to accomplish all of the marriage prep, but if you aren't willing to give the time to your soon-to-be spouse, what makes you think you'll give them the time when you are married. What makes you think that you know everything about them?
I dated the man that I married for 5 1/2 years before I married him. In all of that time, unless we specifically brought up topics, we never would have talked about our family history and how that impacted our lives and what we would change for our own family. We never would have talked about how we wanted our family holidays to be. We probably wouldn't have made a financial goal together and truly discussed our finances - would we have a joint bank account? Et Cetera, Et Cetera!
There are hundreds of things that you should talk about before you get married, but oftentimes things get pushed to the side. While it may be impossible to talk about everything before you marry - at least cover the most important topics, which you can find through a marriage prep program or in a marriage prep book (if unfortunately your Church doesn't offer a program). Some of the most important topics are; Money, Faith, Children, Sex, Politics, Family of Origin, In-Laws and Goals/Careers. Talking about these things makes sure that when it comes to the BIG BUTTON issues that you have a game plan, an agreement, a mutual way of dealing with or handling the topic without one person feeling slighted or like their voice isn't being heard. If you are super different on a lot of these things and can't come to a mutual anything than you shouldn't be getting married. If you are already married and discovered this, seek counseling so that these things don't hinder or ruin the good in your relationship.
If you didn't have the chance to go through marriage prep, or you didn't get to talk about everything, or if something now in your marriage is bothering you -- take the time and talk about it. Go back through your marriage prep stuff, if you did marriage prep, and review it, improve it, update it, fill it in, talk about it, etc. Even if your marriage is smooth sailing - talk about these things. Continue to make sure that everything is out in the open and that both of your voices are being heard. COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE IS KEY AND COMMUNICATION IS A TWO WAY STREET!
Make your marriage what you want it to be and the sooner you do it, the better for both of you! If you have the opportunity in your area, go on a Marriage Encounter Weekend/Marriage Enrichment Weekend with your spouse to make sure you are talking about things that could become a problem if you aren't aware of them and to reignite the flame if you need!
I encourage you, if you aren't married, take marriage prep SERIOUSLY. If you are married and whether you went through marriage prep or not - take the time to make sure that you both feel good and are on the same page about topics today. For example, go over your budget today and make sure you are both still happy with it or discern whether God is calling you to have another child together. You can also just keep the communication flowing by looking up 100 Questions or Conversation Starters and talking about one of them over dinner or before you go to bed. I pray that you always take the time and invest like you did when you were dating/courting and when you were in marriage prep!
Showing posts with label together. Show all posts
Showing posts with label together. Show all posts
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Money Money Money...
According to an article, the number one thing that couples fight about is Money... turns out the song "it's all about the money, money, money" really is what it is all about. The article states that couples argue on average about three times a month on finances.
I don't dispute the findings, I do think that most couples fight about money. The sad thing is that it really doesn't have to be that way! The article indicates that most of the arguments are over unexpected expenses and insufficient savings. And disputes like this that occur once a week or more put the couple at an increased risk of divorce. The number one thing to help alleviate the problem is talking about money with your spouse. If you avoid it, you either make the issue worse or you create the issue to begin with. The article says that over 50 percent of couples don't set aside time to talk about financial issues and "three in 10 adults admitted to lying about finances."
Now I would never tell someone what they should or shouldn't do, but T.J. and I have never had any money issues. We took a class before we got married on finances (in case you are wondering it was a Dave Ramsey course) and while we don't follow the course to a "T", I do recommend taking a financial course with your soon-to-be spouse because it starts the discussion before you tie the knot. If you are already married, I would still recommend taking a financial course or reading a financial book, specifically ones with a Christian perspective because they will be more honest.
After taking a course or reading a book or two, talk about your money. Discuss what is coming in every month and what is going out. I recommend a budget, but T.J. and I don't use a hard set budget - we know how much we have to pay for specific expenses and how much we are going to put into savings and we let the rest fall where it may. I don't recommend this for everyone and once we have children we will probably follow a more strict budget, but right now we aren't hurting without it.
Once you set a budget or at least talk through your expenses make sure that you both are on the same page about it and that you are paying back your debt, covering your current expenses, and saving for the future in both a regular savings and an emergency fund - that way you can avoid the stress and fights over the unexpected expenses and you have a well stocked savings.
Also, I highly recommend that you and your spouse have a joint savings, joint checking, and joint emergency fund. I do not think that it is conducive to your health as a couple to have separate finances. If you have your money over here and your spouse has his money over there, then you are keeping secret from your spouse something that in todays world we can't live without. I understand that some people have their reasons for it, but I don't think it is a healthy habit and I believe that it would make financial conversations more difficult.
My belief is when you get married there is no mine and yours anymore, it is ours, and if you treat everything that way, from your cars, to your computers, to your money, then you will have a happier marriage because you won't be competing with your love!
If you haven't talked about finances with your spouse or if you have but it has been a while, take the time today or this week and make it a priority. See where your spending habits could be changed and see where you are doing good! Most importantly be on the same page about finances and make sure that whatever you decide about your money that BOTH OF YOU are happy and agree with your plan - that both of your voices were heard and you both feel satisfied with it! Happy Budgeting!
I don't dispute the findings, I do think that most couples fight about money. The sad thing is that it really doesn't have to be that way! The article indicates that most of the arguments are over unexpected expenses and insufficient savings. And disputes like this that occur once a week or more put the couple at an increased risk of divorce. The number one thing to help alleviate the problem is talking about money with your spouse. If you avoid it, you either make the issue worse or you create the issue to begin with. The article says that over 50 percent of couples don't set aside time to talk about financial issues and "three in 10 adults admitted to lying about finances."
Now I would never tell someone what they should or shouldn't do, but T.J. and I have never had any money issues. We took a class before we got married on finances (in case you are wondering it was a Dave Ramsey course) and while we don't follow the course to a "T", I do recommend taking a financial course with your soon-to-be spouse because it starts the discussion before you tie the knot. If you are already married, I would still recommend taking a financial course or reading a financial book, specifically ones with a Christian perspective because they will be more honest.
After taking a course or reading a book or two, talk about your money. Discuss what is coming in every month and what is going out. I recommend a budget, but T.J. and I don't use a hard set budget - we know how much we have to pay for specific expenses and how much we are going to put into savings and we let the rest fall where it may. I don't recommend this for everyone and once we have children we will probably follow a more strict budget, but right now we aren't hurting without it.
Once you set a budget or at least talk through your expenses make sure that you both are on the same page about it and that you are paying back your debt, covering your current expenses, and saving for the future in both a regular savings and an emergency fund - that way you can avoid the stress and fights over the unexpected expenses and you have a well stocked savings.
Also, I highly recommend that you and your spouse have a joint savings, joint checking, and joint emergency fund. I do not think that it is conducive to your health as a couple to have separate finances. If you have your money over here and your spouse has his money over there, then you are keeping secret from your spouse something that in todays world we can't live without. I understand that some people have their reasons for it, but I don't think it is a healthy habit and I believe that it would make financial conversations more difficult.
My belief is when you get married there is no mine and yours anymore, it is ours, and if you treat everything that way, from your cars, to your computers, to your money, then you will have a happier marriage because you won't be competing with your love!
If you haven't talked about finances with your spouse or if you have but it has been a while, take the time today or this week and make it a priority. See where your spending habits could be changed and see where you are doing good! Most importantly be on the same page about finances and make sure that whatever you decide about your money that BOTH OF YOU are happy and agree with your plan - that both of your voices were heard and you both feel satisfied with it! Happy Budgeting!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Take a Picture
I have tried to take a picture of every adventure that T.J. and I have gone on since we started dating, but especially since we have gotten married because it is fun to look back and see all the places that we have gone and things that we have seen. It reminds me that we have done a lot, even though we haven't traveled overseas or gone very far in the U.S., we have done a lot close to home and that is a blessing!
When you are bored or feel like you never get to do anything, which happens to me more than I would like to admit because we live in a small town, I like to look back though these pictures. I look back at the ones from the very beginning, but most especially the ones that we have taken since we got married and moved here. It is that reminder I need!
More importantly than a picture of the places you have gone or things that you have seen is a picture of you and your hubby in that moment. Even if you look gross because you went on a 10 mile hike and you are all sweaty, take the picture with you and your man in the frame. I promise, when you look back at it you wont think, "well I look disgusting", you will think, "I remember how great that day was." "I remember the sun, the beautiful animals that we saw, the smile that he gave me, the way he helped me climb up that rock..." That is what you will remember!
What is truly beautiful about taking a picture with your hubby, even if you just have a great night at home (remember to snap photos then too), is that you have a constant reminder of the love that you share with your spouse. On the days when you don't feel good or you and your spouse had a disagreement or when you are loving your spouse and want to feel the "love high", look back at these photos and remember the happy loving moments that you share!
I promise that no matter what has happened, no matter why you looked back through them, you will not regret it - it will make your day better! It will help you forgive your spouse, it will help you love your spouse more, it will encourage you to plan another adventure, it will ... Ultimately, it will be just what you needed!
Take a picture with your spouse today and remember to take them often, so when you look back at life you see nothing but happiness, even if it wasn't all smiles getting to where you are today!
When you are bored or feel like you never get to do anything, which happens to me more than I would like to admit because we live in a small town, I like to look back though these pictures. I look back at the ones from the very beginning, but most especially the ones that we have taken since we got married and moved here. It is that reminder I need!
More importantly than a picture of the places you have gone or things that you have seen is a picture of you and your hubby in that moment. Even if you look gross because you went on a 10 mile hike and you are all sweaty, take the picture with you and your man in the frame. I promise, when you look back at it you wont think, "well I look disgusting", you will think, "I remember how great that day was." "I remember the sun, the beautiful animals that we saw, the smile that he gave me, the way he helped me climb up that rock..." That is what you will remember!
What is truly beautiful about taking a picture with your hubby, even if you just have a great night at home (remember to snap photos then too), is that you have a constant reminder of the love that you share with your spouse. On the days when you don't feel good or you and your spouse had a disagreement or when you are loving your spouse and want to feel the "love high", look back at these photos and remember the happy loving moments that you share!
I promise that no matter what has happened, no matter why you looked back through them, you will not regret it - it will make your day better! It will help you forgive your spouse, it will help you love your spouse more, it will encourage you to plan another adventure, it will ... Ultimately, it will be just what you needed!
Take a picture with your spouse today and remember to take them often, so when you look back at life you see nothing but happiness, even if it wasn't all smiles getting to where you are today!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Fit Together
Two weeks ago today a fitness challenge began at T.J.'s work. They are in teams and have to walk, bike, run, whatever so many minutes that equate to miles and they have a certain amount of miles that they have to reach. Each team is trying to hit that mile mark first. Long story short, I have become part of T.J.'s motivation to get in as many hours in a week as possible.
I won't lie, some days we don't feel like doing anything and it is hard to motivate ourselves to go, some days we have been busy doing other things and we don't get the time in. But, we try to make up the time if we don't get to it every night. I have noticed that on the days that T.J. and I have worked out together we have been happier with each other the rest of the day and the following days even if we don't get to work out - which is an awesome benefit!! Plus I love the fact that my "workout buddy" is my best friend!
Our main form of working out is walking. It is easy to do and we don't have to pay for a gym membership, so we like to walk. Some days we will change it up a little and try to jog (which I usually am not very good at) or we will ride our bikes. When we walk we have the opportunity to not only get our bodies into better shape, increase our heart rate a little, but it is an awesome opportunity to communicate with one another. This is definitely a chance to have intentional time together with no technology!! I have read that working out also lowers your stress level, which is an added bonus! If you would like to read more about the benefits of working out together this article describes all the top benefits I was able to find when I did a web search - Why Couples Who Sweat Together Stay Together.
Long story short, I recommend working out - and if possible, work out with your spouse. Go outside for a walk, this is the perfect time of the year because the weather is so beautiful right now, go for an evening walk with your spouse. It is a great time for you to strengthen your relationship and you will notice that once you start walking and talking you will be able to walk farther and have higher stamina while you are together.
Some things to keep in mind.
1. Try to be consistent when it comes to working out. I know that things will come up, like a dinner with your friends or your family visiting, but try your hardest to be consistent. A great way to do this is to put your workout time onto a calendar so that you workout at the same time every day or every other day.
2. Use this time as a way to support each other and to communicate with each other. Talk about encouraging things and talk positively about the progress you both are making. Also encourage each other to push a little harder, but don't make it stressful, always keep it positive!
3. Have fun. The most important part about it is that you believe in one another, support one another and make it an enjoyable experience.
Whether your job has a challenge like T.J.'s job or not, is not what is important. The important thing for any person striving to be healthy is to exercise. Do whatever method meshes best with your body, your environment, etc. Because honestly it doesn't really matter how you choose to exercise, but that you do it with your spouse. So let the love between you grow as your bodies become fit together!
I won't lie, some days we don't feel like doing anything and it is hard to motivate ourselves to go, some days we have been busy doing other things and we don't get the time in. But, we try to make up the time if we don't get to it every night. I have noticed that on the days that T.J. and I have worked out together we have been happier with each other the rest of the day and the following days even if we don't get to work out - which is an awesome benefit!! Plus I love the fact that my "workout buddy" is my best friend!
Our main form of working out is walking. It is easy to do and we don't have to pay for a gym membership, so we like to walk. Some days we will change it up a little and try to jog (which I usually am not very good at) or we will ride our bikes. When we walk we have the opportunity to not only get our bodies into better shape, increase our heart rate a little, but it is an awesome opportunity to communicate with one another. This is definitely a chance to have intentional time together with no technology!! I have read that working out also lowers your stress level, which is an added bonus! If you would like to read more about the benefits of working out together this article describes all the top benefits I was able to find when I did a web search - Why Couples Who Sweat Together Stay Together.
Long story short, I recommend working out - and if possible, work out with your spouse. Go outside for a walk, this is the perfect time of the year because the weather is so beautiful right now, go for an evening walk with your spouse. It is a great time for you to strengthen your relationship and you will notice that once you start walking and talking you will be able to walk farther and have higher stamina while you are together.
Some things to keep in mind.
1. Try to be consistent when it comes to working out. I know that things will come up, like a dinner with your friends or your family visiting, but try your hardest to be consistent. A great way to do this is to put your workout time onto a calendar so that you workout at the same time every day or every other day.
2. Use this time as a way to support each other and to communicate with each other. Talk about encouraging things and talk positively about the progress you both are making. Also encourage each other to push a little harder, but don't make it stressful, always keep it positive!
3. Have fun. The most important part about it is that you believe in one another, support one another and make it an enjoyable experience.
Whether your job has a challenge like T.J.'s job or not, is not what is important. The important thing for any person striving to be healthy is to exercise. Do whatever method meshes best with your body, your environment, etc. Because honestly it doesn't really matter how you choose to exercise, but that you do it with your spouse. So let the love between you grow as your bodies become fit together!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Visiting the Family
First, let me start off by saying I am sorry I did not post on Friday! I had absolutely every intention of posting and then by the time I was able to after I finished cleaning up and packing, we had to leave for the airport. And then I tried to get this post up Monday and yesterday, but it just didn't happen!!
Anyhow, as I mentioned the reason that I didn't post on Friday or Monday or yesterday was because we flew home (well I guess our old home) in order to attend my younger brother's Confirmation! Of course, we also got to visit with family and as an added bonus, we were able to spend Mother's Day with our Moms! And then my parents came out to pick up my sister from College and visit from Monday until today!
Let me start off talking about the most important part of the trip. We had the privilege to witness my younger brother make a promise before God and the Church that he would live the Catholic Life, no matter the consequence - whether that is loss of friends, persecution, etc. I am so incredibly proud of my brother and who he has become and his witness to the faith. He has and continues to be an inspiration to me and T.J.! The actual Confirmation Mass was beautiful and the homily really got to the heart of the matter. The Priest reminded us that once you are Confirmed you don't stop going to Church, you don't hide in your room and stop practicing the faith. You go out and shout the Good News to all. My brother took the name Benedict as his Confirmation Saint. How incredibly beautiful to see how St. Benedict has made his way into my brother's life. St. Benedict, pray for him!
So, we had the honor of visiting family. Family is very important to me and despite the fact that for right now at least we live away from them, I try to spend quality time with them when I am around them and to make an effort to spend quality time with them on the phone or on Skype or through whatever method I can. While I don't always talk with my grandparents and cousins, I try to stay connected with my parents and siblings, both my biological and in-laws, as much as possible. Therefore, I am so glad when I get to spend time with them when we travel home or when they travel here. I won't lie, sometimes visiting home is more stressful than relaxing and that is because we have to or want to visit with everyone in the family. I really don't like that part. I love the fact that I have in-laws and a larger family now, but it is so difficult to be home for a short weekend and spend any quality time with anyone it seems. But we do try!
We also really valued getting to spend Mother's Day with our Mom's. The past four years we have missed Mother's Day due to finishing the school year, so it was quite a treat to honor the women who said yes to life and gave us the ability to be a part of this world and teach us how to be adults. We are so thankful for their love and encouragement in our lives.
I truly appreciate the time I get to have with my family. I encourage you to remember to hold your family close, both physically and mentally. Whether you get to see them on a regular basis or not, be close to your family. Teach each other to be holier. Strive to be a domestic church. Never stop running towards God, and always remember that when you are married your family will only function the way it is supposed to if you and your spouse are working together and that relationship is constantly being built up. And if you haven't talked to someone in your family in a while, give them a call or if you are close enough, stop in and say hi. You don't need to see every person in your family all the time or talk to them every week. If you go a few days without talking to your parents or your immediate family, that is okay - what matters is that you have a genuine relationship with them! But never forget to have a daily relationship with your spouse, they are the most important family you will ever have!
May you and your family be richly blessed!
P.S. I just finished reading Consuming the Word by Scott Hahn on the airplane. It is an absolutely wonderful book that articulately describes the Word, the Eucharist, the Mass, and Scripture. If you are looking for a good read, I highly recommend!
Anyhow, as I mentioned the reason that I didn't post on Friday or Monday or yesterday was because we flew home (well I guess our old home) in order to attend my younger brother's Confirmation! Of course, we also got to visit with family and as an added bonus, we were able to spend Mother's Day with our Moms! And then my parents came out to pick up my sister from College and visit from Monday until today!
Let me start off talking about the most important part of the trip. We had the privilege to witness my younger brother make a promise before God and the Church that he would live the Catholic Life, no matter the consequence - whether that is loss of friends, persecution, etc. I am so incredibly proud of my brother and who he has become and his witness to the faith. He has and continues to be an inspiration to me and T.J.! The actual Confirmation Mass was beautiful and the homily really got to the heart of the matter. The Priest reminded us that once you are Confirmed you don't stop going to Church, you don't hide in your room and stop practicing the faith. You go out and shout the Good News to all. My brother took the name Benedict as his Confirmation Saint. How incredibly beautiful to see how St. Benedict has made his way into my brother's life. St. Benedict, pray for him!
So, we had the honor of visiting family. Family is very important to me and despite the fact that for right now at least we live away from them, I try to spend quality time with them when I am around them and to make an effort to spend quality time with them on the phone or on Skype or through whatever method I can. While I don't always talk with my grandparents and cousins, I try to stay connected with my parents and siblings, both my biological and in-laws, as much as possible. Therefore, I am so glad when I get to spend time with them when we travel home or when they travel here. I won't lie, sometimes visiting home is more stressful than relaxing and that is because we have to or want to visit with everyone in the family. I really don't like that part. I love the fact that I have in-laws and a larger family now, but it is so difficult to be home for a short weekend and spend any quality time with anyone it seems. But we do try!
We also really valued getting to spend Mother's Day with our Mom's. The past four years we have missed Mother's Day due to finishing the school year, so it was quite a treat to honor the women who said yes to life and gave us the ability to be a part of this world and teach us how to be adults. We are so thankful for their love and encouragement in our lives.
I truly appreciate the time I get to have with my family. I encourage you to remember to hold your family close, both physically and mentally. Whether you get to see them on a regular basis or not, be close to your family. Teach each other to be holier. Strive to be a domestic church. Never stop running towards God, and always remember that when you are married your family will only function the way it is supposed to if you and your spouse are working together and that relationship is constantly being built up. And if you haven't talked to someone in your family in a while, give them a call or if you are close enough, stop in and say hi. You don't need to see every person in your family all the time or talk to them every week. If you go a few days without talking to your parents or your immediate family, that is okay - what matters is that you have a genuine relationship with them! But never forget to have a daily relationship with your spouse, they are the most important family you will ever have!
May you and your family be richly blessed!
P.S. I just finished reading Consuming the Word by Scott Hahn on the airplane. It is an absolutely wonderful book that articulately describes the Word, the Eucharist, the Mass, and Scripture. If you are looking for a good read, I highly recommend!
Monday, May 5, 2014
Go Together
One of the greatest joys in my life and in my marriage is getting to do things with my husband. People may laugh or find it strange, but I love going grocery shopping with my spouse. If we have to wash the cars, I want to go with. If we are getting gas in the cars - which my wonderful spouse ALWAYS does for me or if I am trying on clothes - which of course I want to look my very best for him, we try to go together!
I think that the reason that I always want to do things with my spouse and not on my own isn't because I am incapable of doing things by myself; because I have filled the tank of gas on my own, gone grocery shopping alone, went clothes shopping by myself, the list goes on and on. But I don't like doing these things on my own, especially when I know that my spouse is at home by himself. I always think - why aren't we doing this together?
I know that this could change when we have children, but honestly I doubt it will (the only change will be our children will be with us too and we might not get to do it for everything like we can now!). I doubt it will change because for me, spending time with my man is the greatest time I will ever spend. Whether we are sitting on the couch doing nothing or washing the cars or shopping for groceries - if I get to spend that time with the person that I love the most, then the sometimes meaningless tasks or the things that aren't very fun become a joy because we get to do them together.
Of course we spend time together without it being at the grocery store or shopping. We make intentional time to be with each other (something I am going to post about later this week), but when it comes to shopping or bills or any of the rote things that being an adult consists of, doing them together is the best!
This past weekend we had wonderful weather which allowed us to wash the cars, go on a bike ride (which I almost died on - not used to all the hills where we live), visit our Alma Matter, see some amazing Chalk Art, and so many other things. I know for certain that if we wouldn't have done these things together, they would not have been nearly as fun - sure we would have enjoyed them separately or with our friends, but not in the same way. It is impossible to experience things with other people the way that you get to experience them with your spouse.
I am not saying that you shouldn't do things by yourself, for yourself, with yourself or your friends (other than your Best Friend, aka your spouse), but I am saying that when you do the same tasks day in and day out, take your best friend. Do the things that suck the most or are the most meaningless or boring and do them with the person that lights up your life.
I hope that you have a wonderful start to your week! I hope that this week you will find one opportunity to do something with your spouse that you either normally don't do with them or is one of the rote tasks of life. Take them with, be involved together in finding the groceries in the aisle or sending the money out for bills. You'll not only find that the task is better with your "better half" but it is also finished quicker!
I think that the reason that I always want to do things with my spouse and not on my own isn't because I am incapable of doing things by myself; because I have filled the tank of gas on my own, gone grocery shopping alone, went clothes shopping by myself, the list goes on and on. But I don't like doing these things on my own, especially when I know that my spouse is at home by himself. I always think - why aren't we doing this together?
I know that this could change when we have children, but honestly I doubt it will (the only change will be our children will be with us too and we might not get to do it for everything like we can now!). I doubt it will change because for me, spending time with my man is the greatest time I will ever spend. Whether we are sitting on the couch doing nothing or washing the cars or shopping for groceries - if I get to spend that time with the person that I love the most, then the sometimes meaningless tasks or the things that aren't very fun become a joy because we get to do them together.
Of course we spend time together without it being at the grocery store or shopping. We make intentional time to be with each other (something I am going to post about later this week), but when it comes to shopping or bills or any of the rote things that being an adult consists of, doing them together is the best!
This past weekend we had wonderful weather which allowed us to wash the cars, go on a bike ride (which I almost died on - not used to all the hills where we live), visit our Alma Matter, see some amazing Chalk Art, and so many other things. I know for certain that if we wouldn't have done these things together, they would not have been nearly as fun - sure we would have enjoyed them separately or with our friends, but not in the same way. It is impossible to experience things with other people the way that you get to experience them with your spouse.
I am not saying that you shouldn't do things by yourself, for yourself, with yourself or your friends (other than your Best Friend, aka your spouse), but I am saying that when you do the same tasks day in and day out, take your best friend. Do the things that suck the most or are the most meaningless or boring and do them with the person that lights up your life.
I hope that you have a wonderful start to your week! I hope that this week you will find one opportunity to do something with your spouse that you either normally don't do with them or is one of the rote tasks of life. Take them with, be involved together in finding the groceries in the aisle or sending the money out for bills. You'll not only find that the task is better with your "better half" but it is also finished quicker!
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