I don't know about you, but T.J. and I have had such a hard time establishing routines since we got married. It seemed that no matter how ingrained our routines were during High School and College, once we got married we threw all of them out the window.
The hardest routine to keep up with is one of the most vital to our lives and our marriage - prayer. Prayer completely gets tossed to side practically the day you get married. No matter how much you may say, I will keep up my prayer life or that won't happen to me, at some point I think you will realize that if your prayer life hasn't completely fallen to the side, like ours has, that it isn't as strong as it used to be or as strong as you want it to be.
I think that is because Satan wants to destroy the beauty of the Sacrament of Matrimony. As the Priest says when you get married "What God has joined together, let man not put asunder." Man puts their marriage asunder when they forget to have a relationship with the person that bound them together - God. Man - husband and wife - need to cultivate their marriage. They need to cultivate it with the Third Person of their marriage triangle being involved in their lives.
When T.J. and I got married we knew that keeping the Third Person - God - in our lives was vital. Like the famous book Three to Get Married by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen describes, your marriage takes place with the two of you and God at the center, or another way to describe it would be as three points to a triangle (which is probably my favorite analogy because it mimics the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit and because I like to view this triangle as God, Wife, Husband and in the space inside the triangle your children who can only survive if the triangle keeps all its points intact - but that's a side story). Anyways, we decided to partake in a beautiful tradition when we got married. We said our vows on a Crucifix and kissed the Crucifix before each other and then we placed the Crucifix in a place of honor in our home to constantly remind us that God bound us together and without a relationship with Him, our relationship will fail. You can read more on this tradition HERE. We rely on Him for the truest example of sacrificial love, the love that He had for us on the Cross.
When T.J. and I remember to pray we pray before this Crucifix which is in our bedroom now and will most likely remain there until we have children and we put it in a place where everyone can view it. This past weekend we had the great privilege of getting to attend one of our good friends wedding. This was like a mini-marriage retreat for us, a reawakening that we need to make things more of a priority in our marriage - especially prayer. When we got back home my wonderful hubby and I had a heart to heart and have recommitted ourselves to making prayer a priority, a habit again in our lives.
Every day this week we have made prayer a priority and I can tell that it is already making a huge difference. The prayer doesn't have to be long, it can be the Rosary or a Novena, it can be a prayer for spouses, for families or it can just be a prayer that you sincerely say from your heart. If praying together seems scary at first or awkward, start by saying the Rosary together. Eventually, work into praying from the heart, discussing in prayer with God what is on your hearts. Ask Him whether you should have a child (or another child), whether you should find another job, what you can do to make your marriage better, what you can do to make life easier for your spouse... the list goes on and on.
I challenge you, like I challenge myself, start making routines, most especially start making the routine of prayer! I promise you that it will be the best decision, the best 30 seconds or 15 minutes that you and your spouse spend in a day. I know because in the past when we have prayed we have felt nothing but blessed - not even necessarily from answered prayers, but mostly from the connection, the deep love, the closeness that we have shared though prayer.
May you make prayer a priority beginning today! Because it does take "Three to Get Married" and it definitely takes Three to Stay Married!
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