Today is one of those days for me, when I think - WOW, I can't believe that we have known each other this long and that we have done all these things together. In only a few short weeks, T.J. and I will have been dating then courting then engaged then married for a total of 6 years. I can't believe that on May 27th, 6 years ago T.J. and I became "officially girlfriend and boyfriend"!
It's funny because it seems that I am at a point now where I have a hard time remembering when I wasn't with T.J. We were always together and we felt married before we ever said "I Do." We became and are the very Best of Friends and I feel privileged to get to spend my life, now married, with the man I dreamed of being with.
I have read somewhere that "it takes 2 to 4 years to completely get to know someone" and that "couples who wait this length before marriage are less likely to divorce." Whether or not this is a valid statistic or a true statement doesn't matter to me, I really value this because I think it is important not to rush into a marriage. Our relationships should be well established, well built before we consider being with that person for the rest of our lives. T.J. and I dated/courted for over 3 1/2 years before we got engaged. Then we were engaged for about 1 1/2 years before we got married and we have been married for a little over 9 months now.
Every couple has their way of preparing their relationship for marriage, some people enjoy spending a few nights a week with each other, or when they can get together, or for dinner every night, or for nights out on the town, or for every day visits and spending time with family - the methods go on and on.
For T.J. and I, we spent as much time as we could together before we got married. Some people may think that that was a little excessive, some people may think that it was perfectly normal - no matter the opinion, for T.J. and I that was what we wanted. I will never know if that is the reason why the second we got married I never felt weird or like things were no longer mine or that my life suddenly was so different from how it used to be. For us, moving into marriage was natural. I am thankful for the decision that we made because I feel it prepared us the most for married life.
I enjoyed spending a lot of my time with T.J. by my side because it allowed us to see each other at our very best and our very worst moments, it allowed us to see how we interacted with our families, how are families work, how they treat us, what they thought of us, etc. It also allowed us to discuss things like finances, goals, family ideals, etc. long before we tied the knot. It allowed us to become siblings with our now siblings long before the wedding day and it allowed us to feel welcomed by our future parents.
No matter when you found your special someone or when you got married, there are things that happened when you were just starting out, when you just met or had your first kiss that made such an impact on you. I remember when T.J. first asked me out - it was to junior prom, and I remember when we toured what would become our Alma Matter. I remember going to my first football game with my future father and brother in law and hubby. I remember our first kiss - on the cheek and of course the real first kiss. I remember the day we said good bye to our parents as we went off to college. I remember so many things about our relationship that got us to where we are today.
I encourage you today, as I encourage myself, to remember something in your past, when you just started dating or had been going out for a couple of months, when you had your first "kiss", just some moment where you felt like this was the relationship God wanted you to have. Remember that moment and share it with your spouse today, so that he can remember back to that moment with you! It will be a great trip down memory lane and a moment you will both enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment