Every Wednesday T.J. and I have date night. Truly it is the highlight of the week. We purposefully picked Wednesday to be our Date Night because it is the middle of the week, when you are over the Monday Blues but haven't quite caught the Weekend Fever, if you know what I mean!
I think it is important to have Date Night before you have kids, while you have kids, and after your kids are moved out of the house because Date Night is another name for "Intentional Time". It doesn't even have to be at Night, it could be Date Lunch or Date Morning, whatever - the point is that you are setting aside intentional time to be with just each other.
This time should consist of the two of you and the conversation shouldn't include bills, children, things that are stressful, etc. This time should be an opportunity to talk about you, to talk about things that interest you. If you don't know what to talk about get a book that asks 100 questions and ask one every date night to get the ideas flowing when you don't know what else to talk about. There are some great books out there like: 1001 Conversation Starters, 4000 Questions to Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone, or look up conversation starters on the web! Or, plan a date night that will lend itself to talking - whether that be a movie or a hike, you get the idea!
Ideally you should set aside intentional time, even if it is for 5 minutes every day with your spouse, whether that is waking up early to have that moment or staying up a few minutes later - connecting intentionally with your spouse is vital to communication and keeping things running smoothly in your marriage. I think it is best to have Date Night (or your version of that) once a week, but if there are too many things happening in life aim for once every other week or once a month. Try not to let yourself go longer than this, because even if you say, I have no time - this is something you want to make time for! This is the way you keep your marriage strong!
The thing about Date Night is you don't have to spend tons of money to make it great! Sometimes it will be fun to spend money to go out to a nice restaurant or go on a hot air balloon ride (I have always wanted to do that!) or whatever. But some nights can be movie night or you make a special dinner for your sweetheart!
The point is, that you need to give your spouse intentional time. If that happens after the kids are in bed and you share a glass of wine or some beers together then perfect, if you have the chance and the money to go out to dinner - great! Whatever it is, make it about the two of you!
Happy Date Night!!
P.S. Some great ideas: take turns planning date night, set a budget for date night, get a book for discussion topics (reference above), write date night on the calendar, make date night the anticipated night of the week, search Date Night Ideas on Google or check out some of the ideas that The Nest posted for 100 Date Night Ideas... Oh and if you want to watch a great comedy about Date Night check out the movie Date Night!
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