Thursday, May 8, 2014

Sweet Gestures

Lately, my darling Husband has begun a trend with me that is something I am sure that everyone could appreciate!  During the day, he writes me some sweet text messages or will call me for just one minute to see how my day is going and to remind me that he loves me.  If he doesn't do that he offers to help complete some chore around the house, or to pay some bill, or whatever.  Sometimes he will get me flowers or take me out to dinner just cause.  No matter what he does, I know that it is from the heart and filled with complete love.  He doesn't do it every day, nor do I need or want him to do it every day.  If he did it every day, they wouldn't be such lovely sweet gifts on the days when he does.

This has really made me think about the fact that the little things in marriage do matter.  Often times, I feel like people, myself included, focus on the negative little things in marriage - like when your spouse doesn't finish the dishes or somehow doesn't manage to get his dirty socks into the laundry bin that is seriously two inches away from where he put his socks.  The problem isn't that those things are annoying and we notice, the problem is that part of our fallen human condition means that we look for the negative.  We subconsciously want someone to fail, someone to prove that they aren't worthy of our attention.  It really is quite sad, but it is a part of our nature to some extent. 

Therefore, I feel ever more the need to focus on the small positive things that happen.  Make the effort, because unfortunately due to our nature we will tend to remember the one negative despite the fifty positives in our relationship.  So we need to practice changing our nature.  We need to put the positive out there and remember the positives when a negative arises.  This doesn't mean that your spouse somehow has a free pass on life now and he can do whatever he wants without it being an issue.  It just means that the little pet-peeves or the accidental mistakes shouldn't outweigh all the beautiful little things that he does.

If your spouse doesn't send you sweet messages or call you or bring you flowers, then maybe this is a great time for you to start sending a little love his way.  Maybe he was hurt in the past when he brought home a card and you blew it off, maybe the last time he thought about getting you something you were financially strapped.  The beautiful thing about these sweet gestures is they can be FREE!!  All that matters is that they are from the HEART!!

So send some text message love today or write a little note and put it in their briefcase.  If you get home first, try to help your spouse finish something that they needed to get done.  If you can drop the mail at the post office, take it.  If you can throw the load of laundry in, go for it!  If you don't have a chance to do it every day, that is alright - it will make it all the more special on the days when you can do it.

To really "treat" your man, dress up in nice clothes intentionally for him.  Pull out that shirt or dress that he loves and wear it this weekend.  Or put on some perfume that reminds him of you.  If he is going on a business trip - put a little note in his suitcase that he will get to read when he gets there.  Send a picture of yourself in the mail to his office, so he gets a piece of positive mail!  BE CREATIVE AND LET IT BE FROM THE HEART!

Whether you are both enjoying sweet gestures from each other or not.  Now is the time to make sure that you stop making excuses and start changing the relationship with little positives!

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